i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize