He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
