i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
