thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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