I'm gonna have a badass scar
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You ate ashes out of my bong
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