P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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