they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
