just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
