Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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