Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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