hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
