I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
