sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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