ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
