I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
