This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
