Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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