So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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