Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
