I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
