Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
