Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
