I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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