Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
