It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
