just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
