Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
