when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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