weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
