You can't motorboat a personality
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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