Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
