New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
