I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I got her a Nickelback box set.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just had sex on a roof
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
