It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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