It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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