It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
