Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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