I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
