3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize