Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What a dumb baby whore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
