question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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