So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Randomize
