Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
