Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
