Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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