Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
