I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
