there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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