I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
