Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
