I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize