I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
