just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
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The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
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FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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