My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
