Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
