he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How external is "for external use only"?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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