So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
